Days 35 and 36

The past two days have been fine taking care of my mother. Our heat downstairs where Momma's room is, is broken. And the weather has been unusually cold this week. I have made every effort to keep my mom warm by using space heaters and electric blankets- and she hasn't complained a bit! The heater man is supposed to come fix it tomorrow. Tomorrow we go to get her hair done and we will also visit with my sister for a while. I think Momma is happy here- she felt proud of herself when she stays alone for a few hours- like tonight the boys and I went to church and she stayed alone- I think she enjoys the alone time too! She is excited about our upcoming trip for her class reunion next weekend- and I guess I am too- but I really wish I could stay home and watch the Bama game- I guess I'm being selfish- it's just a game.

Days 33 and 34

Yesterday was Sunday and we had plans for me to take mom to her church and then for me to go to my church at 11- well the night was rough for me because my husband was up all night coughing and then had severe diarrhea- so I was up at 4am searching the house for Imodium to give him- by 6am when the alarm went off- I was dead tired- I got up and went down stairs to tell mom that I just too tired to make it- she understood and had not slept well either- so we both went back to bed- our youth pastor picked our youngest son, Sam up for church- and of course- our oldest son still has mono- I told someone last night that everyone and everything was sick in our house- even the animals- we had the cat spayed over the weekend- and the dog has not been feeling well either!!! So today- I took advantage of the spa gift certificate that my husband gave me for our anniversary last month- I had a hydrotherapy treatment and a massage and it was wonderful- I'm beginning to think I deserve a spa visit every month!!! When I left mom- my son was here and so Jerry- but she got herself dressed for the day all by herself! I am amazed at her progress!! The past two nights I have gone on to bed and she has stayed up watching tv and she puts herself to bed after I have gotten her ready and given her meds! A girl from church brought our supper tonight and it was great- lasagna- all in all today was a good day and Momma just keeps getting better and stronger everyday!!!

Day 32

I guess Saturdays are going to be hard- for some reason- it seems I get really uptight- stressed- or something- Our meals ministry from church brought our lunch today- it was great- Turkey and dressing with all the fixings- my friend, Denise brought it- and she brought her son, Luke- whom i adore and momma has grown to love as well- there's just something about having a baby around that lifts your spirits! After lunch, I took a nap and woke up in time to get ready for the Bama game- which we won- Roll Tide! During the game, mom talked to a friend of hers about her upcoming class reunion- I had told her previously that I would take her- and today I found out that it is taking place on the same day as the Bama/Auburn game- if you live in the south- you would understand my disappointment- even though we never go to the games- it's just always been a family thing to watch it together- I hate to miss it but I promised her I would take her- so- I will. In the morning i am going to take her to her church again and then try to get to my church by 11 for worship service- i miss going to Sunday School- hopefully next week, my sister will start taking her to church- better pray about that one...

Days 30 and 31

Yesterday was a busy day for us beginning with blood work first thing in the morning. After that, we ate breakfast at Shoneys and then went to Walmart to get her nails done and just shop around- I think we actually stayed n Walmart 2 hours- just roaming around- me pushing her in the wheelchair- we bought my sister a get well gift and then left in time for her hair appointment at 1pm- she looked great with hair and nails done-After this we went to visit my sister who has had shoulder surgery- we told her that we had decided that momma would probably just stay with me- Momma also told her that once she was recovered, she hoped she would be able to take her to doctors appointments and such since I will be back at work. My sister was immediately on the defensive- telling momma that she was just not going to pull on her anymore or try to lift her- I jumped in and said momma doesn't need that anymore- she is able to get up and down herself- you know I really think she just doesn't want to be bothered with the responsibility of helping out. I can't understand my sisters at all- Connie doesn't even call and check on my momma everyday which I think there is absolutely no excuse for- and Jenny is so wrapped up in her own self that she can't see any one else- oh well- they will have regrets- not me.
Today we got up late. Jamie, her therapist came and we barely had enough time to get her dressed and ready. He worked with her on the outside steps that we have and also getting in and out of the car- after her therapy, she gave him one of her books she has written and wrote inside-"Thank you for helping me get part of my life back"- I thought that was touching. This afternoon, I took Jay to the doctor and he now has mono- ugh- another obstacle to get past- but we will- the doctor told him to be careful about being around Momma and his brother- Sam- who will probably get it anyway- I felt a little down today for some reason- maybe losing some of my identity- I don't know-tonight I felt like coming upstairs early and getting ready for bed and reading for a while- but I felt that I needed to stay and keep her company until time to get her ready for bed- maybe I can find a way to get her to be able to take her meds and get her night clothes on earlier- this is going to be especially important when I start back to work because I will need to be in bed by 9pm- maybe 8 depending on how tired I am going to be...

Day 29

Today has officially marked the 4 week time period that I have cared for my mother. I asked her if she thought it seemed that long- and she said no. Today when her therapist came and saw her new "room"- he thought it was perfect-after her therapy he spoke with me privately about how he thought she would really thrive in the situation she is in now- because it is familiar. He really thinks that if we put her in assisted living that she will decline- I told him I thought the same thing. she really seems happy at our home- there is just no way I could tell her she has to leave. I talked to Jerry about it tonight and he agrees- she is welcome to stay as long as needed as far as he is concerned- how many other husbands would be so nice to a mother-in-law who wouldn't even attend our wedding- that's another long story that I won't get into- but I am so proud of him for being so good about all of this. Although her Alzheimer's has improved greatly- I know that eventually it will get worse and it would get worse quicker if she were to have to make another move/adjustment. So for now, I believe we will just plan on keeping her long term. I want her to be happy and I believe she is- we have to work out the Sunday church issue because we belong to different denominations, so I will be praying for a solution. Today Jerry and I went to her house and picked up a few of her pictures and special items to make her room feel more homey. Her room used to be Jay's room, but we have turned it into the "grandmother"room in about 24 hours. She has her own bathroom right off her room and it is just perfect- we had kept her hospital bed in our great room but yesterday I had the bright idea of moving her into that room- this involved ripping up carpet, taking down an antique bed and finding different places all over the house for Jay's stuff. I'm proud of Jay for being so willing to give up his room- he never really slept in there anyway- because Sam's room upstairs still has two twin beds and he usually sleeps up there. Sam helped me take apart the hospital bed, move it and then put it back together again! After we got all of her pictures hung and special stuff in place, her room looks really pretty. Tomorrow we have blood work to get done in the morning and then she goes to get her hair done- hope we get sleep tonight in order to get up early...

Day 28

Well today began really boring- Momma was depressed for some reason- not quite sure why- well I managed to get her depression out when I officially moved her into her own room! This began by pulling up carpet in the room that Jay has been calling his bedroom- although he never sleeps there- then I began putting all of Jay's stuff in different places in the house- Jerry and the boys took down the bed and we spent a good deal of the day cleaning the floor underneath the nasty carpet. Sam and I un assembled the hospital bed and moved it into the new "grandmother room"and I made some last minute decoration attempts with what we had- we will go to her house tomorrow and get more stuff- when it was time to put her in her bed, we realized that it was turned in a way that made it too difficult for her to get in the bed because of her leg- so when Jerry got home, we moved the bed and the rug underneath to suit her needs- finally I sat down after working nonstop for about 7 hours- her room looks great and I could tell she was proud of it- she mentioned just staying and living with us and paying $1000 a month- but I just said we would talk about it later-but for now she is happy in her new room and she will be really happy when I bring more of her stuff over tomorrow- tomorrow will be 4 weeks since she has been here- time has flown by...

Days 25, 26 and 27

As you can tell- blogging would be boring if I detailed everyday like before- that is because caregiving is getting easier- I still have days when I want to just scream and run out of the house- and days when I miss my privacy or miss the way I used to do things- but all in all things are okay- Saturday was a good day- Bama beat LSU in overtime! I cooked chili and a few friends came by- everyone is impressed with the progress she is making- the following day- Sunday- I told my momma I would take her to church- it has been so long since she has been to church and she really wanted to go- you have to understand our different spiritual beliefs really well in order to appreciate the events of today but anyway- i took her to her former home church (the church I grew up in ) at 9am and then I took her home where my sister was suppose to be there to care for her- of course- she was late- but my son, Jay had stayed home because he is sick, so I felt okay leaving mom with him- because my worship service at my church started at 11- I ended up about 15 minutes late- but really needed the worship time- my sister ended up taking mom out to eat and over to her house to get more clothes- so for about 3 hours- I took a much needed nap!! When she came home, she seemed to have had a good time- and I'm glad- today is Monday and Jamie, her therapist came this morning- she fought taking a shower- and I just gave in- but I did make sure that I scrubbed her real good "down there"- I really think she needs a shower everyday- I've heard that older people have fears of the water the older they get and they just hate thinking they may get cold- sorry, but as long as she stays here- showers will be everyday from now on- besides she always ends up feeling better after her shower. After Jamie left, I went to run errands and Jay was still sick at home so I left him in charge- she did fine and I was only gone about an hour. Tonight after dinner she was so proud of herself for sitting on the couch- this is the first time she has sat on the couch since she h as been here- she either sat on the lift chair or in her wheelchair- those baby steps keep coming!! I spoke with someone today about getting the VA benefit for her to move into assisted living- there is so much paper work but I am determined to get it done- it is about $1000 per month- however, I told her today that if she stayed here it would be fine too- whatever she wants to do and will be happy- growing old is sad-I pray that my boys will care for me i f I need them- but I pray I won't need them...

Days 23 and 24

Caring for my mother is becoming easier every day- she is making great strides in her physical abilities- just need to keep working on strengthening her leg muscles- as far as her Alzheimer's- at this point- I don't think she even has it- I really believe that her Doctor in Tennessee had her on so much medicine that was unnecessary- I think it just put her in a fog for the past couple of years- my husband and I went out to dinner tonight alone- our son stayed with Momma- but we were going to leave her by herself- then Jay came home right before we left- the thing is- 3 weeks ago, I couldn't even leave the room without listening for her 24/7. She has improved that much! Jerry and I were talking about the possibility that she may one day be able to go back to her house- she certainly is not ready for that now- but it could be possible if she continues improving- I am completely amazed at the power of prayer- I have witnessed before my very eyes what prayer, faith, and a strong group of supportive friends can do for a person- My God is so good and how could anybody live their life without Him on their side? Throughout this journey since mid August, I have seen so many different phases of illness in my mother- dementia, seizures, depression, horrible pain, inability to walk or be mobile, incontinence, weight loss, loss of appetite, and many other horrible things- i remember at times praying that the Lord would take her if she couldn't get any better- and at that time I believed she never would- I think of the verse in the Bible that says- "My ways are higher than your ways"- God doesn't work on my schedule- and He sees that huge picture into the future that I can not see- He has a plan and it is never to harm, but always to prosper- Jeremiah 29:11.
Yesterday she got her hair done and it looked so good! She was so proud- again another little step- after that we went by her house to pick up some fall/winter clothes- I was afraid it would make her sad- but it didn't.
Today we went to a craft show and then to the doctor- her doctor was so pleased with her progress- he ordered blood work so that he will be able to possibly lower some of her meds!!
Now the house is quiet and all is well at the Wheeler home. Tomorrow is Saturday and of course- Roll Tide Football around here- Go Bama!

Days 20, 21, 22

Well I have been without a computer for two days and I was just about having withdrawal symptoms when finally our new modem arrived by UPS today- so I am a little behind in blogging- Monday was a good therapy day for Momma- she made three rounds walking through the house with the walker- it was a pretty normal day- Janice, our pastor's wife brought supper and it was delicious!! Around 6, I got cabin fever bad- so I asked Mom if she would mind if I went to the Dollar store down the road for a few minutes- my boys were home with her- and she said I should go- it's amazing what 45 minutes away can do- and I even found some cute picture frames and a shower curtain! When I came back, the boys were proud of themselves for "keeping Grandma"and I was renewed a bit. Monday night Momma decided she would try putting the potty chair close to her bed and going tot he bathroom by herself during the night without calling for me- it worked- however, I have become so accustomed to listening for her on the baby monitor, that when I heard some rustling around at 2am, I knew she was going tot he bathroom- I laid in bed just listening until she stopped moving and I knew she was successful.
She woke up again to use the bathroom around 7 and again I listened to be sure she didn't need me. When I came downstairs around 7:30- she was so proud of herself- "she asked me- "Well how did it feel to get a whole nights sleep?"I told her it was great- I would never let her know that I was awake both times she went to the bathroom!! These are great steps in helping h er secure independence!! Last night she also used the bedside toilet and each time I heard her- but still I'll never tell!!! Yesterday I had a dentist appointment and I could tell she really didn't want to go- it was also election day and I needed to vote- so when Jerry got home from voting, i asked him to stay and watch Momma while I did these things- he agreed - by the way he has been wonderful at adapting to having her here- and he makes her feel like she is so welcome! I can never thank him enough for that! I ran my errands, went to the dentist, voted and came home in about 4 hours- she was so proud of herself because she had gone into the bathroom by herself while I was gone! These little steps are so important. Last night I began talking to her about the possibility of her buying a mobile home and putting it on our land- we have almost 4 acres- at first she was against it but as we talked I could tell she thought more and more about it- Today her therapist came and after he left, we were both bored- I thought it would be nice to just drive around and see the pretty foliage in the mountainous areas around the county- so we got in the car and left- one of the assisted living places that we had been thinking about was on our way and I asked her if she wanted to stop by- at first she said no- but then I talked her into it- we had thought that this place was way out of her price range but were pleasantly surprised that it was only a little more than she had been paying in Tennessee. She liked the place -it is really pretty and the apartments were cute- they have an on site therapy gym/room and fitness center and it is located in on on the best areas of Huntsville- she actually began thinking about it and tonight said that if she could get the $1000 VA benefit she is eligible for through my Dad- she wants to move there in January. So we will see- I think that being in a facility may decrease the progress she has made but maybe not- I just want her to be happy and if she wants to stay with us- that's fine too- we will pray about it and trust the Lords guidance...

Day 19

I forgot to set my clock back and I missed out on an extra hour of sleep- I was ready for church an hour early and momma was still sleeping! I didn't realize it until I was completely ready and called my sons who were spending the night with their other grandmother- to be sure they were on their way to church- my sister was to come at 9:30 to watch Momma while I was at church and she was late by 30 minutes- then she ended up leaving before I got home- I don't understand not wanting to spend quality time with your mother- 2 and a half hours every 10 days is not quality time- yet, she feels she has done her duty for a while. I had been looking forward to next Saturday because my mother was going to spend the night with my sister and go to church with them the next morning- however, she called and said she just didn't think she would be able to do that- I really don't understand either one of my sisters- they assured me that they would help me with my mother when she moved in with me- and had I not taken her in- she would be in a nursing home right now and definitely would not have progressed like she has. I am extremely frustrated-today and have probably said things I shouldn't have- but you know what- in the end, I will have no regrets and I can't say that for them- they both seem so consumed with their own lives and I can't understand that- my older sister is even mad at momma because she wants momma to go to her shoulder surgery next week and momma said she couldn't go - can you believe this? A hospital is the last place someone like my mother needs to be around- her immune system is suppressed already- sometimes I feel like I am living a Soap Opera- I have decided that I will not ask either one of my sisters to help anymore- I get too frustrated when they can't or offer an excuse- my church friends and other friends have offered more help than they have anyway. I know that mommas feelings are hurt- she says they're not but I know better- she just wants to keep peace between all three of us- inside I know she is hurt and I can't stand knowing that- so I will continue to give her the best care that I can and know that in the end I will have no regrets. I thank God for guiding me in the direction of taking this on ,for empowering me with the strength to do things I never thought I could do and for surrounding me with friends that support me through phone calls, food and a listening ear. God Is Good!

Day 18

Today was probably the worst- for me anyway- Momma woke twice and then slept until 10:00- but I kept waiting to hear her on the monitor and couldn't get much sleep- I woke up at 2am thinking about ways to purchase a cottage type home for her to put on our property. I just don't think she will do well in assisted living- I'm afraid she will decline again if she is put in any facility. Around 12 noon, I realized that our toilet and tub were backed up downstairs! Yuk ! I called the plumber and our septic tank needed pumping- only $500- it seems that when we get just a bit ahead- something happens to push us back financially- I was really upset about it- and had still not been able to bathe my mother because of the tub being backed up- so it was around 6 when she finally got her shower- the whole day I have felt exhausted-I think momma did too- I've even been depressed- having that feeling that I needed to bust out and go or do something- I don't know why because yesterday was so busy- I just couldn't seem to rest today though- I guess worry and realizing that we will have to make a decision about her care in about 6 weeks- I am also wearing down a bit physically and mentally- I need a break I guess- and not just a few hours break- maybe I will schedule a massage at the spa in the next week or two- I have a gift certificate I can use. So far I'm not hearing her on the monitor- so I guess she is resting well. Tomorrow I get to go to church because Connie is coming to watch momma...

Day 17

It is hard to believe that my mom has been with me 17 days and also hard to believe the progress she has made! God is so Good!! Today was the busiest day we have had- we got up early to get her Flu shot- then went to the mall to spend her "Belk Bucks"and look around-she bought a new red sweater and socks to wear with her new shoes- next we went to Terranova's for lunch- an Italian restaurant that we like and then we picked up Sam at school- next we went to Costco and then to the WCA footballgame where it was my turn to sell tickets in the ticket booth- I took momma in there with me and so many people that know her, complemented her on how pretty she looked and how much better she was doing- she was so proud of herself and this was really good for her self-esteem! I am so proud of her too- we just have to be very careful about preventing falls and continue her physical therapy. One of the ladies working the ticket booth was telling us that she had built a cottage for her Mom on her property- and I started thinking how ideal that would be- we have three acres of land but just don't know if it would be feasible to do that- I could tell that it sounded really good to Momma- it's something to think about. Jay was surprised to see me and his Grandma at his last game- he didn't think I was going to be able to come- Momma got to see him run out on the field and also play a bit- we left at the beginning of the 2nd quarter because it was too cold- but she was proud to be able to see Jay- and of course, I was too. I hope we all sleep late tomorrow- it is Saturday and you know that means Roll Tide football- so we will see what happens...

Day 16

Today was hectic in the morning getting her bathed, dressed and fed before the therapist and nurse came- but we made it just barely. She slept well last night- she said it took her a while to finally fall asleep- My sister called and wanted to come over and I took that opportunity to go to the grocery store- it felt good to get out alone- My husband, Jerry, found out that he has the flu today- none of us have had our shots yet- I am going to try and find a place for momma to get a shot tomorrow- the flu is the last thing she needs- she is doing so well- and we don't need a setback. Today she went to the bathroom alone with her walker and no one even behind her- of course, I was watching closeby- just in case- her improvement is amazing- I know that if we had left her in a facility, she would not have improved- that is affirmation for me that I did the right thing. I am still very tired all of the time- just wish I could catch up on sleep and I guess I'm not sleeping soundly because I am waiting to hear her call for me or mother! Tomorrow we will go to the mall and eat out with my sister- Momma has a coupon that she must use by this weekend for $40 and she wants to get some new clothes or shoes again. I have not missed teaching at all- I think God knew that I needed a break and all of this just worked out in His divine plan. He is so good...

Day 15

Momma had another good nights rest- but for some reason I feel so tired- mornings are hectic- because we have to get her fed, showered and ready for her therapist pretty quickly. Today after therapy we were invited to my Pastor's home by his wife, Janice who is a very close friend, to eat lunch- although it was a "spur of the moment"thing, we had a great time and enjoyed eating soup, cornbread and brownies which was great on such a cold day! Momma loved seeing their new home and w ehad some great conversation- after that we ran by the grocery store for a few items for supper and then back to the house- after getting things semi-done for supper, I layed down for about 20 minutes- then back up again to finish supper- I don't know why I am so tired- maybe I am not sleeping soundly because I am listening for her. Tonight after supper, we just rested and watched TV until time to put her to bed- tomorrow we have no plans except physical therapy and I hope to catch up on laundry- Friday we have a big day planned with Jay's last football game, shopping and dental appointment for me. Maybe I will rest soundly tonight...

Day 14

It's hard to believe that tomorrow Momma will have been with me two weeks! Last night was fine- she only woke up twice to go to the bathroom. We had a big day today starting with her lab work this morning. After that we went to eat breakfast at Cracker Barrell and they had a great fire going in their huge fireplace- we asked for a place beside the fire and it was awesome- momma loved the heat on her back and the breakfast was good. Next we went to the mall because Momma wanted to find some good comfortable shoes- we ended up finding two pair of Ecco's and she was like a little kid with new shoes- she loves them- she also bought a new sweater and this really made her feel good. Next we went on a tour of the Alzheimer Assisted Living home that we have been considering- after the tour and talking with my mother- the director said that her level of Alzheimers is not severe enough for their facility! Great news! I know the Lord has answered prayer and has cleared her mind- she was so happy that she didn't qualify!!! So our next step is to find the best Assisted Living place for her in Huntsville. Wherever she goes, she will still have to be mobile or at least be able to transfer from chair to bed or toilet without help. We have our work cut out for us because she can only take a few steps and they are very unsteady. Our supper was brought tonight by Denise - one of my good church friends and it was so good- again, I don't know how I could face this without faith in my God and my awesome church family! She is sleeping now- all snuggled in her recliner with our dog Allie- hope tonight goes well...

Day 13

Today I went a bit Stir Crazy!! Momma slept pretty good last night-only woke up twice to go to the bathroom- still calling for "Mother"each time. Both times she was able to go back to sleep. We woke up around 8 for the day and I fixed pancakes for breakfast. Jamie called and said he would come for therapy at 9- so we had to hurry- no time for a regular bath- just washed her off- she did great at therapy again and we are encouraged about her mobility! All day long I just felt blah- I think Momma did too- we were bored- I have plenty of laundry to do when I'm bored but that's no fun! Momma watched a movie and she also wrote 2 thank you cards to friends- not very long notes and not the best hand writing but she tried- only thing was that she thought she had written 4 notes- I only found 2- We ate pinto beans and fried potatoes for supper- one of her favorites- and then just kind off layed around the rest of the day- increasing my Stir Crazy tendency- this has been a huge adjustment for me because I have been on the go for the past 17 years- running my kids every where they need to go, working, and staying very active in my church- not counting taking care of my husband. I will probably get used it just about the time I have to go back to work in January. Tomorrow we will go for lab work early in the morning and then go out for breakfast- which she always enjoys doing- we will also go and take a tour of the Clare Bridge Assisted Living Facility for Alzheimers patients- She is already on a waiting list - but she hasn't seen the place yet- hope she likes it. I wasn't able to get a sitter for tonight so I missed Sam's last ball game- he was okay about it but I wish I could have gone. Hope tonight goes well- we have to get up early to leave for lab work....

Day 12

Today is Sunday- our family regulary attends church at First Baptist Gurley and I have missed the past two weeks- my sister volunteered again to stay with Momma while I went to church and I was especially happy because today we celebrated Pastor Appreciation Day with a dinner on the ground. Momma slept well last night- still wake up once by calling for "Mother"- I don't think that will ever change- but it's fine- After church and di nner, I brought home a plate of food for her- and if you don't already know- Southern Baptist women can cook!!! She enjoyed her food and her apetite has really improved- I just hope she doesn't put on a lot of extra weight- because it will keep her from gaining mobility. After church, I was dying to take a nap and I asked her if she would mind- she said that she wanted me to get some rest, so I found an interesting movie for her to watch and I took a great nap for about two hours. When I woke up, I began to feel really overwhelmed for some reason- my husband was asking what was for supper, the boys were needing football uniforms washed, Momma needed to go to the bathroom and i just wanted to pull my hair out and scream! I fixed hamburgers and hot dogs for everyone and I just ate noodles- Sam wanted me to play Monopoly with him after supper, and Jerry decided to play too- Momma didn't want to play but she watched. During the game, I told Sam that I was going to miss his last football game tomorrow because I didn't have anyone to watch Grandma- he acted disappointed and it did'n't help matters much when Jerry and Jay put in their two cents about it- I felt sorry for Momma and told him I was doing the best I could- I tried to call my sister- Connie but no answer- then I called Janice because she had said she would be interested in helping sit with my mother part-time- which I would pay her for. She wasn't available either- I don't want Momma to feel like she is a burden- she's not- it is just an adjustment for our kids because we have always attended every sporting or other event. I just need some understanding. I looked over the brochures tonight for the Alzheimer Assisted Living place that we had talked about this week- I dread having to do that- but there is no way she can stay alone and no way that I can stay out of work after January. But all will work out- it always does- Romans 8:28 reminds me that "All things work together for good for those who love the Lord"- don't I know it...

Day 11

Momma said she slept better last night than she had in 3 months! The Seroquel is working for her and she only woke up once for me to take her to the bathroom in the middle of the night- then she woke up at 8:30 to go again and it was time for us to get up anyway. After her breakfast she wanted to sleep a little and that was fine- I went with our son- Jay to get his truck washed, pick up the corsage for his girlfriend and stop at Walmart for a few odds and ends. When I got home, Momma had been writing in her notebook- I haven't read what she wrote- but writing is something she has always enjoyed- she has authored three books. She seemed a bit bored and I asked her if she wanted to play Yahtzee which was a game we used to play when I was growing up- she said she did- and she actually beat me by 100 points!! Sam played her next and her beat her by 50 points- its good for her to play games that encourage her to think alot. I cleaned upstairs while she watched TV and then my friend Linda came by. Since today was Saturday that means football and the 4th Saturday of October is always the Alabama/Tennessee game- I fixed Tacos and Taco Salad and we all watched the game- which we won- Roll Tide- 29-9!!! Momma has really made friends with our chihuhua dog Allie and she just climbs up in mommas lap and snuggles- which is where she was when I left her to come up stairs- she has slept in the recliner for the past two nights and seems to think it helps her sleep better- I guess it's not going to hurt her- but it seems uncomfortable to me. We will see how tonight goes- but for now I feel proud of her for the progress she is making and I feel proud of myself for hanging in there and being able to enjoy this time with my mother- I think I'm going to dread going back to work in January...

Day 10

I am actually writing this a day late- yesterday was a full day and it was the Homecoming game for our two boys- our oldest plays and his girlfriend was in the Homecoming court- I was able to go to the game because my sister, Jenny stayed with momma during the game. Yesterday morning momma was very sleepy - I actually had to wake her up to get ready for Jamie- her physical therapist. We were also having company for lunch- Denise and her little boy- Luke- Momma did great at therapy- Jamie believes that if she continues to progress, she may be able to walk on her own- which is something he doubted when he first saw her. She does well with her walker and had walked from one end of our house to the other with the walker. After Jamie left, our company arrived and we had fun playing with Luke and talking to Denise. she has been such a good friend throughout this ordeal and has encouraged me so much. I really don't know what I would do with out my friends and my church family. Momma had a doctors appointment with a geriatric psyciatrist at 1:20- this was a successful visit and it gave her an opportunity to tell the therapist how she was feeling. she cried a bit- because she was worried that she was going to be a burden on her children- I felt sorry for her- but you know when I think about it- the question of whether I was going to be able to take care of her- really wasn't a concern- I just knew that I had to do it- so I did. There will still be rough days ahead I'm sure but we will handle it day by day. The psychiatrist increased her cymbalta that she takes for depression and wants to see her back in one month. After her appointment we went to a little coffee shop close by and she enjoyed a cup of coffee and some hummingbird cake- I drank a coke and ate a bagel.
We picked up her prescription and then I drove her by the assisted living place for alzheimers patients that we are thinking about- she seemed to like it from the outside and I told her I had already gotten some info about it and that we would visit there one day next week. I clocked the mileage on my car and it is about 15 miles from there to my house. When we got home we had to wait on Jerry to come home to help us get in the house. The deck was slick and I was afraid I would fall with her in the wheelchair. My sister arrived while we were outside waiting and when he came home I got ready for the game- which was great- our team won and I was so proud of our son- Jay and his girlfriend, Carissa. Momma was sleepy when I got home and I will tell you about how the night went in the next blog...

Day 9

Last night was the first night on Seroquel- and it wasn't all I had hoped for- she slept fairly sound- but still hollered out in her sleep for Mother and also for her sister- Vada- She was extremely sleepy this morning when it was time for therapy but she still did a good job for Jamie- He is such a nice guy- I'm so blessed that God sent him to us- I know it was a God thing!
After therapy she was really tired and wanted to rest while I took a shower. I needed to go to the grocery store and run a few errands so Jerry stayed with her for a couple of hours. Bless her heart, when I got home she had used the bathroom in her diaper because of course, she didn't want to ask Jerry to help her go to the bathroom. But I took care of it quickly and went ahead and gave her a shower- my sister Jenny came around the time I was changing her and offered little or no help- she wouldn't even put lotion on mommas feet because she didn't want to touch her feet- can you believe it? Selfishness is all I can come up with for her- she is missing out on the joy of taking care of our mom- wonder who will take care of her when she gets old and sick? Not me. We ate supper that my husband had fixed- hamburger helper- and it was good- he has been such a huge help to me since all of this has happened and literally changed our lives.
I will never be able to thank him enough. We watched Tv until 8 when her sister called and she talked to her about 15 minutes- at 9:30, I gave her the other half of the Seroquel because she was still not able to sleep. Tomorrow we have therapy, then my friend Denise and her little boy- Luke are coming over for lunch and then we go to the geriatric therapist. I'm looking forward to playing with Luke and momma really enjoys being around little children, here's hoping we get sleep...

Day 8

Well another night of interrupted sleep- it was pretty bad- she had a Doctors appointment with her neurologist today at 11:30 and we were there over 2 hours. She was put back on Aricept, her seizure med was changed and they prescribed a medication for sleep- seroquel- so far it seems to have worked - she is sleeping soundly- however, the info I have found on the web indicates alot of side effects I don't like- it says it should be prescribed for Bi-polar disorder- I hope it is safe- and right now she is sleeping---yeah!!!! After the doctor, we went to the mall to eat at The Piccadilly- she really enjoyed her meal and then I took her to get a manicure- which she loved- next i pushed her around the mall and we did alot of window shopping. We had a really good time together- I time I will treasure-we will see how the new med works- I need sleep....

Day 7

Last night was probably the worst as far as momma sleeping- she had an opposite reaction to the Benadryl- it kept her wired and awake. I think she called for "Mother"at least 6-7 times. Each time I would wait to see if she would fall back asleep- but she never did- most of the time she just wanted me to fix her blankets. Finally, at 5:30 am, I gave her a Klonopin- which I use for anxiety and stress- it worked because she slept until 8:30- We see her doctor tomorrow and I will ask him about possibly prescribing something for her like that. Because I was so tired and stressed, I had very little patience with her today. I just needed sleep! Her therapist called to say he would be by around 10:30 so I quickly got her bathed and dressed- when he arrived, I was actually outside waiting on him- just needed to get away for a minute- I told him about our night and he told me to just stay in the other room while he worked with her - I did- and I got a little nap. He tapped me on the shoulder when he left and I appreciated that little bit of sleep. Around 1pm, my husband offered to watch her while I took a nap and then my older sister, Jenny came and stayed with her until 3:30- wow- that nap felt great! Our youngest son, Sam had a football game tonight and I had arranged for a friend, Linda to come and stay with Mom from 5:30- 7:00, and then my younger sister Connie was to come from 7-9- the games usually aren't this long, but we had previous arrangements to go out and eat with some friends after the game and I was very much looking forward to some social time! Sam's team lost but I really enjoyed the break away from home- Connie said momma did fine- and after she left, I took her to the bathroom and put her in bed- with no night time meds- Dr. Morgans office had called earlier in the day to tell us to stop the Dilantin- so now we wait to see how she does tonight-so far as I'm typing this I have only heard her call for "Mother"once...

Day 6

Today was a busy day for us. momma slept most of the night- woke up 2-3 times only. Still having lots of confusion during the night and still callling out "Mother"when she needs me- in fact I heard her just now call out "mother"I try to ignore ot the first time- sometimes she quits but most of the time she keeps on u ntil i go down stairs and find out what is wrong- lots of times- it's little things like the covers are messsed up- she usually is hallucinating alot during her sleep. She had a doctors appointment at the orthopedic doctor today- so we had our first experience going somewhere- she did fine- we found out that her broken shoulder has healed so that is good news- I asked the doctor if he had any suggestions for sleep and he recomeended Benadryl- so far it hasn't worked tonight. After the doctor, we went to Pizza Hut and she enjoyed eating pizza. Next we went to Walmart where I tried pushing her in the wheel chair and pushing a buggy also- didn't work too well- so I stationed her in the camera department beside a bench and told her I would get all of the stuff we needed. I tried to hurry through the store because I was afraid she would become disoriented and begin calling for "Mother"- after I got all of my stuff- I found her still sitting in the same spot and no she hadn't called for mother! We got home just in time to receive an awesome supper from a dear close church friend- Celia- Beef Stew, rolls and brownies- it was delicious and momma really enjoyed it- by 6pm she was ready for bed and I gave her her night meds including the Benadryl- at 7:30 she was still wide awake!! Maybe the Benadryl will take effect and give us all some rest tonight- I can only hope and pray...

Day 5

Today was a good day- mom only woke up three times last night- and she slept in the recliner part of the night- no BM's in the bed either!! At 7 she was ready to get up and I made her cofffee and heated a honey bun for her- I gave her the morning meds and then she wanted to get back in bed- which was fine for me because I was still so sleepy- we both slept until 10:30-
Around 10:30- I began getting her clothes ready for the day- today was Sunday and the boys and Jerry had left for church around 9:30- at first she didn't want to take her bath but I convinced her that she would feel better after her bath- we did the bath thing and yes she did feel better after- She wanted to sit out on the deck in the sunshine after I got her dressed and she must have sat there almost an hour. Jerry called around this time and wanted to know if we wanted Mexican food from the local Mexican restaurant and we both said yes- so he took our orders and we just waited for our lunch- after lunch, the preacher and his wife from my church came by for a short visit and I really enjoyed seeing Janice- she is one of my good friends- I am going to miss going to church on a regular basis. This afternoon, I took a short nap in Jerry's new recliner and mom slept on and off, I think- we watched TV until suppertime, then ate and put her to bed around 9pm- so far it has been a good day- tomorrow we go to the orthopedic doctor for her shoulder- it will be her first outing- if all goes well. we may go out to eat lunch.

Day 4

I am actually writing Day 4 on the day after because I was too exhausted last night to do it. The f ourth night was pretty much the same- crying, calling for mother- but she was able to use the bedside commode instead of the bed- yeah- small little step but it felt huge to me and to her- she knows she is doing all of this strange behavior but she doesnt know how to tell me that she can stop it- she did say some really strange things during the night- of which I was up and down probably 7 times- once she said she was dying and that there was blood all over her- and she also said that she had more than two legs and they were all twisted up- I am trying to research sleep disorders among alzheimers patients like this- but haven't found any that match what she is doing- I really think it is her Dilantin- they sent her home taking 400 mg before bed- 2 days ago I reduced it to 200 and I plan to keep reducing until we are down to 100 mg or none- she only had one seizure and this does not mean she will ever have another one- the dilantin is for seizures- I really think it is contributing to her night time confusion and mania- During the day we had a big day planned because it was Saturday- and Saturday in the South means football- Roll Tide football for us- and my husband Jerry was going to get to watch the game his new Bama room in his new recliner. I had decorated this room with Bama memorabilia and purchased a crimson recliner for him on our anniversary this month. I dressed Momma in a Bama sweatshirt for the day and I made chili for us and any other friends that may drop by during the game- my 92 year old mother-in-law came by and my dear friend, Linda came by offering to watch momma while I took a nap. I thanked her but told her I wanted to watch the game- she stayed anyway and we all enjoyed talking and watching the game- I dozed off for anout 30 minutes. Bama won- but it was a nail biter! After the game, momma and I finished the puzzle watched a little tv and by 8:30 she was ready for bed- will tell you what happened on my next post Day 5...

Day 3

Last night was another crazy night- She woke up calling for mother and crying at least 8-10 times. Each time, I went downstairs to check on her- Around 5am- I took her to the bathroom and she did have a small bowel movement- I was so happy that she had not used the bathroom in her bed- I really bragged on her- put her back to bed and woke up around 7am when my oldest son- Jay was tapping me on the shoulder saying Grandma was crying and calling for mother- I couldn't understand why I didn't hear her on the monitor- and then Jerry said he had turned it off the last time I went down because he thought I was going to stay downstairs with her. I found her laying in the bed with her diaper off and gown pulled up- crying that she had messed up her bed- She had another bowel movement and I quickly cleaned up what I could and put her on the bedside toilet where she finished the BM. She was upset with herself and I just reassured her it was okay- I went ahead and got her in the shower and dressed her and put her in her lift chair where she ate her grits and drank cofffee. By 9am she was sleeping soundly and I let her sleep for 2 hours- mostly because I was exhausted and needed to sleep too! She woke up very confused and around this time my sister called and said she was coming by in a while- when she arrived, she offered to stay with Momma so that I could get out for a few hours and run errands. I felt like a free bird!! I picked up a few items for her at the Pharmacy and also asked the pharmacist about suggestions for sleep- she mentioned Melatonin- which is a vitamin supplement- So I bought it. Next I went to Target to pick up a few groceries and other stuff- It felt so good to get out of thehouse- and this is only the third day!!! After my sister left, momma seemed really normal -we talked like old times, and Allie, our dog, decided she needed to become friends with Momma- who has never been a dog person- Allie cimbed up into her lap and snuggled up close to her and I could tell Momma really liked it- She said"Allie- youré going to make a liar out of me"! As the two of them sat and snuggled in the recliner, I put up groceries and carried on a conversation with her hoping to keep her awake! Around 5:30 she decided she was hungry and wanted some Chicken Salad- I used the recliner to lift her a bit and then put the walker in front of her to hold onto and my plan was to get her to walk to the kitchen table- only a few steps away- suddenly. she just slid all the way to the floor and sat there crosslegged- I was determined to get her up- because I knew my husband and the boys would not be home until late- after all, it was Friday night and Jay had a football game- I tried one time- which didn't work and then with all the determination and strength I could muster- I picked her up and put her in the wheelchair- I knew that when I did it Iwas taking a chance at hurting my back- and I think I probably have- however I did not tell her- this incident upset her and she ended up eating just very little of her supper-I bought a puzzle at Target today, and she and I have always loved working puzzles- so I pulled her up to the table and found some extra lamps in order for her to be able to see- and we began working the puzzle- we got the border done and then watched the crazy show "Wife Swap"- after the TV show, I could tell she was tired so I began getting her ready for bed- I gave her the night time meds plus the new Melatonin supplement- I also had purchased a relaxation Cd and a small Cd player for her in hopes of helping her sleep- I rubbed down her leg with pain cream and tucked her in for the night- I figured a hot bath in our jacuzzi tub would be just what my back needed and it did feel good- but as I sit at the computer and type this blog- my back is killing me! I have heard her three times on the monitor and she called for mother once-I checked on her once and she seemed to be asleep- which is what I hope to get alot of tonight! Maybe the boys and Jerry wont wake her when they come in from the game- I will call and warn them- .............

Day 2

Oh my goodness- last night was aweful! Mom woke up moaning and crying around 2am and was awake on and off until 7am- I think I got about 3 hours of sleep- listening for her on the baby monitor reminds me so much of when my boys were babies- I kept hoping she would get quiet on her own- she never did so after three trips down the steps and back up again- I decided to sleep in the recliner- around 5am she had taken her diaper off and pooped in the bed. At 7 am I started fixing breakfast and she wanted a cup of coffee. She was so sleepy but I made her get out of bed- after breakfast, I gave her a shower and washed her hair- got her dressed and by 9am she was exhausted and begging to lay down- I put her in bed and let her sleep for about 2 hours- she slept hard too- no moaning and crying- I think she has her days and nights mixed up= and that stupid pill I gave her made it worse. The home health nurse and physical therapist came by today to introduce themselves and assess her. I really like the therapist- his name is Jamie and he was very gentle and sweet with my mother- when he left, we spoke privately and he told me he didn't think she would be able to walk again and that his goal was to get her able to transfer from a wheelchair to a bed or toilet by herself. He also shared with me that his grandmother had alzheimers and he understood much of what I was going through- when he told me he would keep us in his prayers, I knew he was a Christian! We talked about the churches we attended and it felt so good to know he was a believer!!!

The nurses stayed about 2 hours and momma was exhausted after they left- I told her she could sleep but only for 30 minutes- during this time, I fixed her supper and after supper tried everything to keep her awake- playing solitare on the computer- I even had her folding towels.

Her sister called tonight and she spoke with her about ten minutes. Close to 9pm, she asked my youngest son, Sam to help her get into bed- I was upstairs- he was afraid she would fall and he called for me- I changed her into her nightgown, gave her the night time meds and tucked her in with instructions to please sleep all night!!!! Now I can hear her breathing on the baby monitor and ocassionally moaning- I'm wondering if I should go down and take her to the bathroom now- no- I guess I'll just wait until I hear her call "Mother".

Day 1

Momma arrived at my home today around 10:30 am. I had spent the last two days getting everything just perfect for her arrival and had bought grocieries to prepare her favorite meal as a celebration for her tonight- she has been in a faclity or hospital for the past 2 months. My older sister brought her to my home and my husband helped us get her in the house. She said many times how happy she was to be at my house and commented on my fall decorations. She loved the way I had set up her "Space" in our great room- complete with the hospital bed that was delivered yesterday.
She slept off and on today and I could tell that she was more relaxed than I have seen her in quite a while. During her sleep she was not restless and slept so soundly that she snored at ti mes. We ate dinner around 4pm and it consisted of her favorites- peas, corn, okra, squash casserole- (people in the south don't need meat with all of our meals- especially this one! )I had even purchased her favorite cake at Costco with the strawberry filling inside - she felt so special and said I should have known you would do something like that.""She ate slower than the rest of us and this is because she is still recovering from a shoulder fracture- but she really enjoyed her food- after the meal I fixed her a cup of coffee to go with her cake-After cleaning the kitchen, I pushed her in her wheel chair onto our deck where she enjoyed sitting and taking in the view- I found myself getting really sleepy while we talked on the deck- and I asked her if we could go in so that i could lay on the couch- she agreed-
around this time my boys came home from school and she was happy to see them- she layed in her bed for a while and dozed off and on- finally around 7:30 I gave her her night time meds and convinced her to put on her night gown- she wanted to sleep in just a shirt and her diaper. I don't think she realizes that with two teenage boys in the house and my hsband- they may get embarrased more easily. My husband came home from work and had purchased a baby monitor for us to use at night so that we could hear her call for us- I put her to sleep and asked if she needed to go to the bathroom and she said no- I went upstairs, took a bath, came down stairs and she was moaning a bit- saying"she was hurting in her paperclip"- I guess this is what the experts call sundowning- when alzhemers patients get really confused at night. I reassured her- went back upstairs to check my email and I heard her call for mother- she does this when she is confused- she said she needed to go to the bathrooom- I took her and gave her a tylenol because she said her shoulder hurt- I also gave her a Rozerem that the doctor had prescribed for sleep when necessary- back up to the computer I go only to scare myself when reading the side effects of Rozerem- oh well- we'll see how much sleep we get tonight!







































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