Days 23 and 24

Caring for my mother is becoming easier every day- she is making great strides in her physical abilities- just need to keep working on strengthening her leg muscles- as far as her Alzheimer's- at this point- I don't think she even has it- I really believe that her Doctor in Tennessee had her on so much medicine that was unnecessary- I think it just put her in a fog for the past couple of years- my husband and I went out to dinner tonight alone- our son stayed with Momma- but we were going to leave her by herself- then Jay came home right before we left- the thing is- 3 weeks ago, I couldn't even leave the room without listening for her 24/7. She has improved that much! Jerry and I were talking about the possibility that she may one day be able to go back to her house- she certainly is not ready for that now- but it could be possible if she continues improving- I am completely amazed at the power of prayer- I have witnessed before my very eyes what prayer, faith, and a strong group of supportive friends can do for a person- My God is so good and how could anybody live their life without Him on their side? Throughout this journey since mid August, I have seen so many different phases of illness in my mother- dementia, seizures, depression, horrible pain, inability to walk or be mobile, incontinence, weight loss, loss of appetite, and many other horrible things- i remember at times praying that the Lord would take her if she couldn't get any better- and at that time I believed she never would- I think of the verse in the Bible that says- "My ways are higher than your ways"- God doesn't work on my schedule- and He sees that huge picture into the future that I can not see- He has a plan and it is never to harm, but always to prosper- Jeremiah 29:11.
Yesterday she got her hair done and it looked so good! She was so proud- again another little step- after that we went by her house to pick up some fall/winter clothes- I was afraid it would make her sad- but it didn't.
Today we went to a craft show and then to the doctor- her doctor was so pleased with her progress- he ordered blood work so that he will be able to possibly lower some of her meds!!
Now the house is quiet and all is well at the Wheeler home. Tomorrow is Saturday and of course- Roll Tide Football around here- Go Bama!

Days 20, 21, 22

Well I have been without a computer for two days and I was just about having withdrawal symptoms when finally our new modem arrived by UPS today- so I am a little behind in blogging- Monday was a good therapy day for Momma- she made three rounds walking through the house with the walker- it was a pretty normal day- Janice, our pastor's wife brought supper and it was delicious!! Around 6, I got cabin fever bad- so I asked Mom if she would mind if I went to the Dollar store down the road for a few minutes- my boys were home with her- and she said I should go- it's amazing what 45 minutes away can do- and I even found some cute picture frames and a shower curtain! When I came back, the boys were proud of themselves for "keeping Grandma"and I was renewed a bit. Monday night Momma decided she would try putting the potty chair close to her bed and going tot he bathroom by herself during the night without calling for me- it worked- however, I have become so accustomed to listening for her on the baby monitor, that when I heard some rustling around at 2am, I knew she was going tot he bathroom- I laid in bed just listening until she stopped moving and I knew she was successful.
She woke up again to use the bathroom around 7 and again I listened to be sure she didn't need me. When I came downstairs around 7:30- she was so proud of herself- "she asked me- "Well how did it feel to get a whole nights sleep?"I told her it was great- I would never let her know that I was awake both times she went to the bathroom!! These are great steps in helping h er secure independence!! Last night she also used the bedside toilet and each time I heard her- but still I'll never tell!!! Yesterday I had a dentist appointment and I could tell she really didn't want to go- it was also election day and I needed to vote- so when Jerry got home from voting, i asked him to stay and watch Momma while I did these things- he agreed - by the way he has been wonderful at adapting to having her here- and he makes her feel like she is so welcome! I can never thank him enough for that! I ran my errands, went to the dentist, voted and came home in about 4 hours- she was so proud of herself because she had gone into the bathroom by herself while I was gone! These little steps are so important. Last night I began talking to her about the possibility of her buying a mobile home and putting it on our land- we have almost 4 acres- at first she was against it but as we talked I could tell she thought more and more about it- Today her therapist came and after he left, we were both bored- I thought it would be nice to just drive around and see the pretty foliage in the mountainous areas around the county- so we got in the car and left- one of the assisted living places that we had been thinking about was on our way and I asked her if she wanted to stop by- at first she said no- but then I talked her into it- we had thought that this place was way out of her price range but were pleasantly surprised that it was only a little more than she had been paying in Tennessee. She liked the place -it is really pretty and the apartments were cute- they have an on site therapy gym/room and fitness center and it is located in on on the best areas of Huntsville- she actually began thinking about it and tonight said that if she could get the $1000 VA benefit she is eligible for through my Dad- she wants to move there in January. So we will see- I think that being in a facility may decrease the progress she has made but maybe not- I just want her to be happy and if she wants to stay with us- that's fine too- we will pray about it and trust the Lords guidance...

Day 19

I forgot to set my clock back and I missed out on an extra hour of sleep- I was ready for church an hour early and momma was still sleeping! I didn't realize it until I was completely ready and called my sons who were spending the night with their other grandmother- to be sure they were on their way to church- my sister was to come at 9:30 to watch Momma while I was at church and she was late by 30 minutes- then she ended up leaving before I got home- I don't understand not wanting to spend quality time with your mother- 2 and a half hours every 10 days is not quality time- yet, she feels she has done her duty for a while. I had been looking forward to next Saturday because my mother was going to spend the night with my sister and go to church with them the next morning- however, she called and said she just didn't think she would be able to do that- I really don't understand either one of my sisters- they assured me that they would help me with my mother when she moved in with me- and had I not taken her in- she would be in a nursing home right now and definitely would not have progressed like she has. I am extremely frustrated-today and have probably said things I shouldn't have- but you know what- in the end, I will have no regrets and I can't say that for them- they both seem so consumed with their own lives and I can't understand that- my older sister is even mad at momma because she wants momma to go to her shoulder surgery next week and momma said she couldn't go - can you believe this? A hospital is the last place someone like my mother needs to be around- her immune system is suppressed already- sometimes I feel like I am living a Soap Opera- I have decided that I will not ask either one of my sisters to help anymore- I get too frustrated when they can't or offer an excuse- my church friends and other friends have offered more help than they have anyway. I know that mommas feelings are hurt- she says they're not but I know better- she just wants to keep peace between all three of us- inside I know she is hurt and I can't stand knowing that- so I will continue to give her the best care that I can and know that in the end I will have no regrets. I thank God for guiding me in the direction of taking this on ,for empowering me with the strength to do things I never thought I could do and for surrounding me with friends that support me through phone calls, food and a listening ear. God Is Good!

Day 18

Today was probably the worst- for me anyway- Momma woke twice and then slept until 10:00- but I kept waiting to hear her on the monitor and couldn't get much sleep- I woke up at 2am thinking about ways to purchase a cottage type home for her to put on our property. I just don't think she will do well in assisted living- I'm afraid she will decline again if she is put in any facility. Around 12 noon, I realized that our toilet and tub were backed up downstairs! Yuk ! I called the plumber and our septic tank needed pumping- only $500- it seems that when we get just a bit ahead- something happens to push us back financially- I was really upset about it- and had still not been able to bathe my mother because of the tub being backed up- so it was around 6 when she finally got her shower- the whole day I have felt exhausted-I think momma did too- I've even been depressed- having that feeling that I needed to bust out and go or do something- I don't know why because yesterday was so busy- I just couldn't seem to rest today though- I guess worry and realizing that we will have to make a decision about her care in about 6 weeks- I am also wearing down a bit physically and mentally- I need a break I guess- and not just a few hours break- maybe I will schedule a massage at the spa in the next week or two- I have a gift certificate I can use. So far I'm not hearing her on the monitor- so I guess she is resting well. Tomorrow I get to go to church because Connie is coming to watch momma...

Day 17

It is hard to believe that my mom has been with me 17 days and also hard to believe the progress she has made! God is so Good!! Today was the busiest day we have had- we got up early to get her Flu shot- then went to the mall to spend her "Belk Bucks"and look around-she bought a new red sweater and socks to wear with her new shoes- next we went to Terranova's for lunch- an Italian restaurant that we like and then we picked up Sam at school- next we went to Costco and then to the WCA footballgame where it was my turn to sell tickets in the ticket booth- I took momma in there with me and so many people that know her, complemented her on how pretty she looked and how much better she was doing- she was so proud of herself and this was really good for her self-esteem! I am so proud of her too- we just have to be very careful about preventing falls and continue her physical therapy. One of the ladies working the ticket booth was telling us that she had built a cottage for her Mom on her property- and I started thinking how ideal that would be- we have three acres of land but just don't know if it would be feasible to do that- I could tell that it sounded really good to Momma- it's something to think about. Jay was surprised to see me and his Grandma at his last game- he didn't think I was going to be able to come- Momma got to see him run out on the field and also play a bit- we left at the beginning of the 2nd quarter because it was too cold- but she was proud to be able to see Jay- and of course, I was too. I hope we all sleep late tomorrow- it is Saturday and you know that means Roll Tide football- so we will see what happens...

Day 16

Today was hectic in the morning getting her bathed, dressed and fed before the therapist and nurse came- but we made it just barely. She slept well last night- she said it took her a while to finally fall asleep- My sister called and wanted to come over and I took that opportunity to go to the grocery store- it felt good to get out alone- My husband, Jerry, found out that he has the flu today- none of us have had our shots yet- I am going to try and find a place for momma to get a shot tomorrow- the flu is the last thing she needs- she is doing so well- and we don't need a setback. Today she went to the bathroom alone with her walker and no one even behind her- of course, I was watching closeby- just in case- her improvement is amazing- I know that if we had left her in a facility, she would not have improved- that is affirmation for me that I did the right thing. I am still very tired all of the time- just wish I could catch up on sleep and I guess I'm not sleeping soundly because I am waiting to hear her call for me or mother! Tomorrow we will go to the mall and eat out with my sister- Momma has a coupon that she must use by this weekend for $40 and she wants to get some new clothes or shoes again. I have not missed teaching at all- I think God knew that I needed a break and all of this just worked out in His divine plan. He is so good...

Day 15

Momma had another good nights rest- but for some reason I feel so tired- mornings are hectic- because we have to get her fed, showered and ready for her therapist pretty quickly. Today after therapy we were invited to my Pastor's home by his wife, Janice who is a very close friend, to eat lunch- although it was a "spur of the moment"thing, we had a great time and enjoyed eating soup, cornbread and brownies which was great on such a cold day! Momma loved seeing their new home and w ehad some great conversation- after that we ran by the grocery store for a few items for supper and then back to the house- after getting things semi-done for supper, I layed down for about 20 minutes- then back up again to finish supper- I don't know why I am so tired- maybe I am not sleeping soundly because I am listening for her. Tonight after supper, we just rested and watched TV until time to put her to bed- tomorrow we have no plans except physical therapy and I hope to catch up on laundry- Friday we have a big day planned with Jay's last football game, shopping and dental appointment for me. Maybe I will rest soundly tonight...